Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Bobby Fischer is Alive!!!

The following was just released from the AP. I can't believe it this is great news for chess.
Bobby Fischer (1943-?), rumored to have died on January 17 in Iceland, resurfaced in Reykjavík, Iceland on Tuesday evening. We ran into Fischer standing outside of a Reykjavíkian coffee shop, wearing a bearskin coat and sporting a long gray beard. With dozens of adoring Icelanders hanging on his every word, America's greatest chess prodigy waved his arms about, claiming he went into hiding because America made the "grave mistake of picking a Negro President."

When pressed further for details on why this required that he fake his own death, Fischer said "Obama is part of the ZOG [Zionist Occupied Government], bought off by Jewish lobbyists. I just wanted to be sure that the day after his inauguration he couldn't use me as an example and throw me in the American Gulag. Death to Israel! Death to America! Glory to Christ!"

Fischer also titillated the chess world by issuing the following press release challenging Gary Kasparov to a version of chess that Fischer himself invented:
As I predicted chess has become a boring exercise in memorizing opening variations with no creativity. We end up with 15 year old mindless robots like Magnus Carlsen memorizing reams of computer-generated variations. I challenge the last real chess player, Gary Kasparov, to a 50 game match in Fischer Random chess, the last bastion of creativity on the 64 squares. A Philipino radio station has put up one million Euros for the match, to be held in an undisclosed location. No cameras, radio, or news coverage of the match is allowed. Only Gary and I will know the results.

Death to Israel!
The AP contacted Kasparov's spokesman Mig Greengard about this offer, and Mig responded, "Gary doesn't want to get within fifty miles of that fucking lunatic."


Blogger From the patzer said...

Something like 'April fools' comes to the surface. :-)

4/01/2009 01:02:00 PM  
Blogger BlunderProne said...

I pity da Fool!

4/01/2009 09:05:00 PM  
Blogger chessx said...

Fischer outside a coffee shop, capablanca wasn't standing next to him by any chance.
Perhaps they were waiting for Lasker.

4/02/2009 12:51:00 AM  
Blogger wang said...

oh if only...

4/02/2009 03:25:00 AM  
Blogger Glenn Wilson said...

And Fidel Castro is dead.

And google announces their new email app: custom time.

I think, somehow, all of these events must be related. But I can't quite figure out the connection.

4/02/2009 06:32:00 AM  
Blogger Polly said...

LMAO!!! Very clever. I was going to do another April Fools post, but knew it was going to have to be different then last years. I wasn't feeling very creative. I suppose I could have delayed my previous post by a day, and claimed that I won all those games. :-)

4/02/2009 06:53:00 AM  
Blogger Chess? said...

nice april fools. you almost had me.

4/03/2009 12:26:00 AM  
Blogger Temposchlucker said...

Alive or immortal?

4/04/2009 12:28:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home